Chewbacthulhu braids his tentacles with tufts of his greasy brown fur. "Good hair day!" he roars, prancing around the mirror. Then he bursts into a song written for him (in the third person)by Marvin Hamlisch:
"Chewbacthulhu's too sexy for his wings.
Too sexy for his wings.
They're vestigial things.
He's a model, you know what he means?
It means he shakes his tentacles on the cat walk.
On the catwalk. On the catwalk, yeah. It means he shakes his furry glutes on the
Then he goes off to a photo shoot in Paris (Kentucky).
After a long day of mugging for the camera, he falls asleep dreaming of his own shaggy rump. (Why not, everyone else is?)
Chewbacthulhu wakes only to find himself shaven bald. Each of his luscious tentacles has been nailed to the ground. Marvin Hamlisch is holding a hammer and grinning. The sick fuck. "Bad hair day!" he snarls. "Ha ha ha ha ha! Bad hair day! Bad hair day!"