Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A New Translation of the Genesis Creation Myth

God fucked the universe. God fucked Satan. God fucked Adam. God fucked Lilith. Lilith fucked Adam. Adam tried to fuck Lilith but she wouldn't let him. Adam fucked God. God fucked Lilith, then fucked Eve. Adam fucked Eve. Satan fucked Eve. Eve fucked Satan. Eve fucked Adam. Adam fucked Satan. Adam and Eve fucked God. God got pissed off and fucked everybody until Jesus showed up... but that's a story for another time.

Sunday, February 21, 2010


Because sweet cheeks lure me in until I can’t control myself. The old man's voice is intoxicating.

I eventually gorge myself on snakes in your abdomen. I don’t usually do that sort of thing, you know.

Morning comes and it’s all stained fingers and sore teeth. You wake up beside me, looking like a pale queen, holding black flowers against your chest. Weeds coming up from your ample cleavage.

Symbols of a world flushed with blood. My bowels are ready to fall like an empire all over the ground beneath me. Why are we here anyway? We should’ve been on the road an hour ago.

There are bloody holes, clumps of hair everywhere. My stomach hurts now. The bathroom mirror looks like a winter wonderland. Your hair is messy, too, looks like a giant frosted flake.

There is no universal truth that doesn’t involve visions of blue teeth and pink meat. We will chew on menstrual stars and ride on hard red currents of swine runes. We will be engulfed in the flames of roadside ruins, picking the scabs of apocalypse.

We will witness the eyes of some blue Christ follow our car down the highway as we listen to the sounds of blackbirds babbling about the green breath of some God.

But before we do, please pass the cornbread. You know I can’t drive on an empty stomach. And the radio has to be tuned into that station.. the one that has that old man singing....

because is the fall of because is the fall of .....

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Cola Recall #1 (A Haiku)

Sick snakes vomit snails.

Cigarette-flavored soda

is deemed the culprit!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Her Body Was (A Wonderland)

The Hatter is loading fresh film
and dripping Rohypnol
into a teapot

But if he had only known
what Alice had in mind
for this tea party

He would have dripped Cyanide

And drank it himself...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Sects Seen

"You sure you wanna do this?"

A pair of arms wrapped around tighter still. His nervousness mutated into awkward primitive posturing. Suddenly, he was cool in his own eyes. He was losing his virginity.

She wasn't too worried about it. She knew what she wanted. Her clothes came off quick and it embarrassed her a little, like she was suppose to make that part last longer. She could see his nostrils flare.

"That's how babies are made."

He kissed her. "Ow," she replied, feeling hardness pressed against her.

He rubbed his face down her chest, "This is what girls like, right?" until he reached her belly. She didn't hear him; the voice echoed in her mind.

He probed with the tip at first, lightly circling the rim of her hole as if a vulture had found some good eats.

"Careful," she breathed, "If you're too rough you might tear me."

He nodded slightly and ran a few more laps. Urges prevailing, he slipped inside her. She let out a soft cry and bit her finger, thinking hard about which muscles to relax.

They got into a steady rhythm, she forgot about the minor bleeding and he actually made an effort to enjoy the sweat smells they were creating.

He began to swell with the rush of climax creeping into him. When he told her as much she only grabbed him and pulled him in deeper until he exploded inside her.

"Ah... AH... AHCHOO!!!" as he came.

They lay there frozen in the moment, his heartbeat vibrating throughout her body. A smile spread from her eyes to her mouth, mother's voice still echoing.

"That's how babies are made."

"Hm?" he asked.

The end of his nose was on fire. A thousand tiny thumbtack ants gnawing at the skin. He could feel the juices inside her gurgle. He tried to pull out but it was as if something in her was pulling back. He screamed as he ripped his head to the left and tore through her belly.

"Oh," he said, his nose caked in blood, small cum loogie hanging from a nostril.

Her mother had always told her to wait or else she'd end up with a kid. She couldn't think of a greater thing happening. She looked down at her baby, her beautiful bundle of joy, sitting in her lap. She cried and caressed the face, feeling the warmth. She bent down to kiss her new child, falling off the bed as he ran to get her parents.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Dynamics of a Boy/Girl Relationship

She entered the diner as he exited the bathroom. They stopped, stood and stared. Though they had never seen each other before, they immediately felt something between them. Something like a long, thin finger beckoning them forward. So they obeyed.

"Hello," he said. "Tell me, how do you differentiate between pain and pleasure?"

"I don't."

She punched him.

He laughed. She smiled.

They sat down at a table and shared a cherry soda together, sipping from straws just like in real life but not caring that it wasn't made with real cherries.