A New Translation of the Genesis Creation Myth

God fucked the universe. God fucked Satan. God fucked Adam. God fucked Lilith. Lilith fucked Adam. Adam tried to fuck Lilith but she wouldn't let him. Adam fucked God. God fucked Lilith, then fucked Eve. Adam fucked Eve. Satan fucked Eve. Eve fucked Satan. Eve fucked Adam. Adam fucked Satan. Adam and Eve fucked God. God got pissed off and fucked everybody until Jesus showed up... but that's a story for another time.