Tangerine Howdy

The fruit bowl was especially affectionate this morning.

I woke up to the apples nuzzling me beneath my chin, their chilly skin refreshing in the sticky summer air. The plums rolled across my chest, making squeaky love noises as they bounced back and forth upon my ample breasts. They were so cute and having such fun, I didn’t have the heart to tell them that it was somewhat painful when they landed with their full weight on my nipples, which are a tad sore this week, if you know what I mean.

But, I let them play just the same. They think of my body as a big trampoline—bouncy, bouncy—and they are not the only ones.

The bananas were present too, playing tag beneath the sheets, way down by my toes. I had to stick my head under there briefly and tell them to be careful. "Don’t play so rough," I said. "I don’t want anyone to get bruised. Broken skin will make everyone unhappy."

Those crazy bananas barely listened to me though. They were just having too good of a time. I think they may have been playing Cops and Robbers, just like I used to do with my cousin when we were little kids. Or maybe it was Cowboys and Indians…

Several peaches made themselves known when they began trying to shove the apples away from my face. I have often noticed that peaches are the most jealous and possessive fruit of all. I had to speak firmly to them, tell them that I had enough love for each and every one of them. That seemed to settle them down some and I laughed at their antics, not mad at all that they’d all woken me up so early on a Saturday morning.

But, it wasn’t until my beloved tangerines hopped aboard, shouting a gleeful good morning to me and juggling themselves through the air above my head that I really began to feel awake and alive and ready to face another day in the orchards, picking fruit for nickels a bushel.