Thursday, April 15, 2010

"White Hats, Black Hats, And The Hatless"


"I'm fuckin' dying here man!"
~ Mr. Orange


"I'm fuckin' dying here man!" Asher screamed out before he made his final move.

The boy's swing was hardly even a proper punch; the wild haymaker was instead more akin to an invitation. I blocked, gave him a swift uppercut to the gut, turned him, and wrapped my garrote sweetly around his slender neck, tightening the wire just enough to draw blood. For a serial rapist (even under the name of God), he was quite a pretty young man.

“Time to meet that liberal God of yours Captain… I hope you know that I have killed every man, woman, and child in that village to bear the testimony of your crimes at Heaven’s Gates.” I told him, just like reading it off a fucking card.

“There is no afterlife you fool. There is no God.” He said.

“Only half right." I pulled the wire tight and decapitated him.

Having met the Devil herself in the flesh, I had a feeling he would eat those words soon enough. I unscrewed the small vile in my pocket, swallowed it, and died all over again.

I loved my job.