Thursday, April 30, 2009


He never should have pissed me off, but he did.

My stupid brother Marty was always being a bully, beating me up, breaking my toys and spitting on me when my mom wasn’t looking.

I hated his guts and swore that one day when I was big enough I was going to go ballistic on his ass. And that day came one afternoon when my mom had vanished for a while, like she sometimes did. Marty knew where mom hid her extra cash in her bedroom and decided to cop some of it for take-out Chinese food, since there was nothing in the house to eat but a few stale croutons. Marty called and had the food delivered but when the food came, smelling all good and yummy, he wouldn’t let me have any. When I tried to grab a Chinese chicken wing, he punched me in the eye and I went slamming into the wall with vision blurred and head spinning.

By the time I was seeing straight again, Marty was pretty much done eating and started throwing slimy chicken bones at me, laughing like the demon prick he was.

My head still hurt, my stomach was empty and I guess that’s why I did what I did.

I charged the table, faster than he expected and snatched up one of those wooden chop stick things. I meant to stab him in the eye with it, but he turned his head at the last second and the stick plunged into his ear instead.

Marty got this surprised look on his face and then fell off his chair with a loud thump. He never made a sound.

I looked down, still holding the chop stick in my hand. It was covered with blood and something that looked meat, all drippy gooey and juicy.

I sniffed the stuff and thought it smelled pretty good, so I stuck the tip of my tongue on there for a little taste.

That ear meat was freaking delicious! So good, in fact, that I sucked that chop stick clean and then went and stabbed Marty in his other ear as hard as I could, just to get some more of that yummy ear meat. I even dipped it in some left over soy sauce and it was even better!

Marty never should have fucked with me so much, but now I’m kinda glad he did. I’m eyeing his eyeballs now and wondering if they’ll taste like warm stuffed mushrooms.

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